Creating a Different World Through Moving Through Our Own Fear, Guilt/Shame and Judgment
I am inspired to write this blog after listening to a beautiful interview by Aubrey Marcus, with Dr. Zach Bush. Dr. Bush invited humanity to let go of fear and guilt to shift into the new paradigm of love and honoring of beauty. I am on board with this invitation! Now what does that look like in my day-to-day reality? How do I truly live into this invitation?
It is so easy to be engaged in the old story matrix of “if we just defeat these evil forces, love will then prevail!” We are seeing this story on both sides of the current pandemic/vaccine debate. I certainly notice myself getting caught up in this. And it is good and ok to have clear boundaries, for example, “it is not ok to mandate an experimental product that has the possible side effect of death on our fellow humans.” And, how do I have this boundary while also working with my judgment towards the enforcers of this mandate? Because judging them, or dehumanizing them in some form, is bringing the same violent energy to the space I occupy and those that I impact. How does someone work with the internal shame they have when they go against their intuition and “comply” to make life easier? It is often in defending against this shame, that the ego makes everyone that is a mirror of their betrayal of self, wrong and evil. How does someone work with the deep fear they have of death, while seeing more and more death around them, whether they are seen as Covid deaths or Inoculation deaths?
Through my own process and supporting the process of my clients, I see how the pandemic and this great turning of our time, is giving each of us the exact circumstances we need to do our own unique inner work to alchemize the fear, guilt, shame and judgment into acceptance and love. ALL of us have this opportunity, this invitation. And the alchemical, energetic shift that happens when I do my own inner work and shift, is reverberated throughout the universe.
So, can I just stop? Stop judging, stop fearing global takeover, stop worrying about how the Metaverse is going to ruin future generations? I could distract myself when I feel fear, I could send love to those I judge, I could spiritually bypass my way into seeing that everything is in perfect cosmic order. I have done all of these things. And… now when I notice using these “tools”, I ask myself what needs to be truly felt, so I can shift my consciousness in a real and lasting way.
There are so many ways to do good, authentic, deep inner work. I’m not here to say I know all the best ways. I am here to share what I have found to be the most helpful and profound to me. And that is going to the body and fully feeling my way through it. I was, at the beginning of the pandemic, in great fear about the death of my parents. First, from the virus, then from the inoculations. It could overtake me. I avoided working with this for some time, and tried to control my environment by initially not seeing them “to protect them” and then sending them lots of articles about the dangers of the inoculations. My dear parents loved me through all of these efforts of trying to soothe my own fear of their death through trying to control them or my environment. Then, finally, I went to the woods and allowed myself to fully and completely feel my fear of their death. This was intense and I was grateful for the ground beneath me and the forest around me for their support. Then came the deep grief and sadness of the loss. I cried and cried, heaving in the woods. And then…it was complete. For that moment at least. I was able to know in a different way, not a bypassy way, that they are on their own life journeys. And who was I to try to control that or know what is best for them. I have since felt a different love for them. It feels more unconditional. I find myself feeling acceptance of them in a myriad of ways more deeply than I had prior. I feel more grateful for who they are and how they have lived their lives thus far. What a more beautiful way to relate to them in the final portion of their lives.
I have also worked with rage in the same way. Rage and anger are incredible energies when processed fully through the body. They lead to clarity of self and action. I used to be so afraid of my own anger, that it would take over and I would hurt those I love. What I have found, is that I can set a sacred container for myself to feel this energy and I come out the other side with acceptance and clarity about situations that were not possibilities before.
Sometimes we need extra support to feel our way through things. If we have a trauma history, our bodies may not allow us to be present with them without this extra support. Our bodies are masters at staying alive and sometimes dissociation was exactly what was needed to do this. And then our bodies need extra support to know that while it once wasn’t, it is now safe to fully feel.
What do you notice when you seek to feel your emotions deeply, on a somatic level? And what I mean by that is notice how the feeling is showing up in your body. If you are feeling anger, is your chest tight, is your breath shallow, are your arms tense? Stay with this, noticing, being curious. Energy always moves, so it will. When you notice thoughts, notice, then come back to the sensation of the emotion. If you notice feeling extremely unsafe or dissociating, this is a good indication that extra support is being asked for. If you notice impulses in your body to move, say into a push, allow this (maybe pushing against a wall), but very slowly, with micromovements, so you can stay very present to the movement. Maybe there is an urge to scream. Scream and feel it rise up and out of the mouth. It’s really not about the what, as in what you’re angry or afraid about. It’s about being present to the sensation of that emotion and giving it space to move.
What resources may you need to show up for yourself in this way? This could look like time by yourself, or another person bearing witness. What feels good- morning or evening, outside or inside, with essential oils nearby to ground, soothing music, your kids with a babysitter. There are so many choices you can make to take good care of yourself in this process. You doing what you need to do to truly be with and move through your feelings, shifting from anger/fear/guilt/shame to love and acceptance, IS one of the highest things you can do for humanity. And you will feel so much more centered and balanced in your life as well. It’s a win-win. Thank you in advance for showing up for yourself and therefore all of us. It matters.